life chat

Why Do We Think So Much About People Who Don't Think About Us?

Alternate Title: Be Still My Foolish Heart? (Anything to drag Hozier into my chats) 
I’m not talking about unrequited love, I’m talking about how we create crushes on people we don’t *really* have an actual interest in. You might think you don’t do this, but I promise you know someone who does. People far and wide that I’ve talked to do this thing where we fixate on someone we know we can’t have. We harbour these little (or big) crushes on people who are long since gone, maybe they live in another city, maybe they’re in a relationship. Regardless, we’re only interested because they’re off limits. We’re not harassing them, or being a problem for their relationship, chances are they have absolutely no idea we harbour feelings for them at all, we do it for entirely selfish reasons. We do it, mostly, so that we can think romantic thoughts without having to deal with the actual anxieties and stressers of having feelings for someone.
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Am I Self-Sabotaging Romance?

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For a very long time I was fully honest and confident that the answer to this question was yes. When I was twenty-one and finally had coverage for the braces I was supposed to get when I was 14, I got them because “then no one will want to kiss me, so I definitely won’t fall in love with anyone, and a year from now I will be free to move overseas with nothing holding me back.” It technically worked, but I feel like I’ve been self-sabotaging a LOT longer. I always, always, ALWAYS went to formal events with my girl friends in high school and self professed that I would never want to go with any of the guys (bi me just coming out to play, or me just trying to avoid the disappointment of no one asking?). Even when I did date in university, I always keep people at an arms length because I was convinced I wasn’t in the right place to have that committed kind of relationship. I was open and honest about the temporary nature of the relationship right from the get-go… not usually how people start relationships, right?…

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Migrating East | Life Updates

2CBAA2E5-FD37-4C1A-B999-04FC3A12ED07.JPGYou probably didn’t notice (and I don’t hold that against you) but I haven’t written on my blog in over a month. I’m not moving on from blogging, but rather, I’m moving out. As in out of my house. I’m doing that big life transition where you move out of your family home and move into the big bad adult world. And I’m not just starting a new part of my life, I’m starting almost completely fresh. To be honest, I’m pretty much setting myself up for failure. I’m Rachel, on Friends, moving to New York to live with her friend, except I’m moving overseas not just to the city, and I don’t have daddy’s credit card to get me through the first bit, and I don’t have a cushy apartment that for some reason I can afford on minimum wage….

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