online dating

The Dangers of Tinder Dating

So. I’ve covered a LOT about dating in my Carrie Bradshaw series. Since moving to self-hosting, I’ve been going back and editing everything. One theme stuck out, the dangers of Tinder dating. Not the obvious serial-killer ones, but the more sinister ones lurking in the back of your mind. How many disappointing dates do I have to go on? Will I know when it clicks? Will it just make me jaded? As someone who started out on Tinder and found success, I feel like I’ve got some authority on the topic now. Probably more authority than I actually do have.

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A Guide To Starting to Date Again

AKA How To Do A Break Up In Reverse
Just as there is a process to going through a break up (successfully!), I’m starting to think there’s a process to getting used to dating again, and then getting used to being in a relationship. When you’re someone who has been single for a long time, who enjoys being single, there must be at least a thing you have to go through. I am pretty sure, about 75% sure, I’ve sorted it out by now. Processed with VSCO with c2 preset
Full disclosure: This entire thought process maybe one of those things that signifies me getting old, BUT I have a new theory. Those of you who have been through break ups will know, there’s a process to a break up that you have to go through. Whether you’re happy or devastated about the break up, the disappearance of an important person in your life is ever-present for the first few weeks, if not months. And now that I’m starting to date one person seriously, straight out of being single and without dating around first, I feel I’m starting to have to learn how to do break-ups in reverse. What’s the process for finding joy from a relationship again? For settling in to having a partner again? …

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What’s Weirder: Dating Someone You Know, Or Someone You Don’t?

I’ve been thinking about the question of how you meet people a lot lately. Half of the people I’ve dated I’ve known for awhile before we started dating, whether that be through work, or school, or hobbies. The other half are people I met off-chance and hit it off with. In both cases, it felt more like I knew that person in some capacity before we started dating, because we didn’t meet and the intention wasn’t immediately the possibility of a relationship of some sort (or was it?). Now that I’ve been frequenting the Tinder, I’m curious about how people date people. Just in GENERAL, but also specifically, why is it so, so weird to date someone you don’t really know? We’ve covered topics like: do I really want to be dating? And how am I going to know if I like them romantically?  But we’ve never covered the ‘how do you even get to know someone you don’t know when all of your meetings are in the date-structure?’. There’s a romantic interest. There’s an intention. How do you get to know someone as both a person, and a potential partner, when you start completely from scratch?

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When Did I Become Jane Bennet?

Processed with VSCO with m6 presetThere are worse people to be, I suppose. (Spoiler alert: she gets a happy ending). That being said, I think I and every other woman who has read Pride & Prejudice fancy themselves to be a strong-willed Elizabeth Bennet, a take no shit and fend for yourself and love will find it’s way type of girl. Recently, my cousin admitted to having a hard time showing affection for someone she was romantically interested in and I scoffed and called her a Jane Bennet (For context: Jane doesn’t show her affection well and so her love interest is persuaded to believe she’s not interested, loses hope on her and leaves). Now I’ve admitted that I have a problem with Self-Sabotaging Romance opportunities. But, three days later, I have realised, as it turns out, I am also a Jane Bennet.

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Am I Getting To Know Someone Or Am I Leading Them On?

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Picking up where we left off with “Am I Self-Sabotaging Romance?” I am now anxious about how one actually dates people without leading them on, or letting them down. (Simple answer is that these are natural side effects of dating, no?) All throughout our childhood and adolescence we spend time worrying about whether or not other people like us. Now, not only am I still convinced that everyone else thinks I am The Most Annoying Person Ever and hates having to socialise with me, but I’ve also developed anxiety about whether or not *I* like other people. Will it never end?!

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Am I Self-Sabotaging Romance?

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For a very long time I was fully honest and confident that the answer to this question was yes. When I was twenty-one and finally had coverage for the braces I was supposed to get when I was 14, I got them because “then no one will want to kiss me, so I definitely won’t fall in love with anyone, and a year from now I will be free to move overseas with nothing holding me back.” It technically worked, but I feel like I’ve been self-sabotaging a LOT longer. I always, always, ALWAYS went to formal events with my girl friends in high school and self professed that I would never want to go with any of the guys (bi me just coming out to play, or me just trying to avoid the disappointment of no one asking?). Even when I did date in university, I always keep people at an arms length because I was convinced I wasn’t in the right place to have that committed kind of relationship. I was open and honest about the temporary nature of the relationship right from the get-go… not usually how people start relationships, right?…

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My Dating Dry-Spell

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Should I Care A Lot More Than I Do?

It has been a full two years since I’ve had a boyfriend, been on a date, kissed a person, the whole nine yards of relationship. Two YEARS! And it’s just zoomed on by without me noticing. Dating is something that’s so common in everyone else’s lives, but I feel like it’s slipped out of mine and I didn’t bother to notice or care. For the past two years I have been so focused on school, friendships, and eventually moving out that dating just fell to the background and I didn’t look back at it until now….

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