relationships

Monthly Memo #4 | Moving In With A Boy

Lovers kiss in Montmartre, Paris

October was a hectic and calm month all at once. I started the month off by deciding to move. I started to get more comfortable at doing my new job and, maybe most importantly, I went to Paris. For some reason the move doesn’t feel like the big thing, even though I know it is! It got overshadowed by my need to settle at work, that I just ended up settling in, in a new place (without hardly realising it!). I think that’s why I’ve been tip toeing around talking about the moving in with Angus, but now it’s time to get down to it. 

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A Guide To Starting to Date Again

AKA How To Do A Break Up In Reverse

Just as there is a process to going through a break up (successfully!), I’m starting to think there’s a process to starting to date again, and then getting used to being in a relationship. When you’re someone who has been single for a long time, who enjoys being single, there must be at least a thing you have to go through. I am pretty sure, about 75% sure, I’ve sorted it out by now.

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What’s Weirder: Dating Someone You’ve Never Met, Or Someone You Know Well?

I’ve been thinking about the question of how you meet people a lot lately.

Half of the people I’ve dated I’ve known for awhile before we started dating, whether that be through work, or school, or hobbies. The other half are people I met off-chance and hit it off with. In both cases, it felt more like I knew that person in some capacity before we started dating, because we didn’t meet and the intention wasn’t immediately the possibility of a relationship of some sort (or was it?). Now that I’ve been frequenting the Tinder, I’m curious about how you date someone you’ve never met before? We’ve covered topics like: do I really want to be dating? And how am I going to know if I like them romantically?  But we’ve never covered the ‘how do you even get to know someone from a strictly dating perspective?’

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When Did I Become Jane Bennet?

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Reading Pride & Prejudice, I was always Elizabeth, not Jane Bennet!

I suppose there are worse people to be than Jane Bennet. (Spoiler alert: she gets a happy ending). I think I and every other woman who has read Pride & Prejudice fancy themselves to be an Elizabeth Bennet. A take no shit and fend for yourself and love will find its way type of girl. But my cousin recently admitted to having a hard time showing affection for someone she was romantically interested in and I scoffed and called her a Jane Bennet. For context: Jane doesn’t show her affection well and so her love interest is persuaded to believe she’s not interested, loses hope on her and leaves. Now I’ve admitted that I have a problem with Self-Sabotaging Romance opportunities. Three days later, I have realised, as it turns out, I am also a Jane Bennet.

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Am I Leading Someone On When I’m Getting to Know Them?

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Picking up where we left off with “Am I Self-Sabotaging Romance?” I am now anxious about how one actually dates people without leading them on, or letting them down. Am I leading someone on when I’m getting to know them? What if I decide I don’t like them *like that*? (Simple answer is that these are natural side effects of dating, no?) All throughout our childhood and adolescence we spend time worrying about whether or not other people like us. Now, not only am I still convinced that everyone else thinks I am The Most Annoying Person Ever, but I’ve also developed anxiety about whether or not *I* like other people. Will it never end?!

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