relationship advice

A Guide To Starting to Date Again

AKA How To Do A Break Up In Reverse
Just as there is a process to going through a break up (successfully!), I’m starting to think there’s a process to getting used to dating again, and then getting used to being in a relationship. When you’re someone who has been single for a long time, who enjoys being single, there must be at least a thing you have to go through. I am pretty sure, about 75% sure, I’ve sorted it out by now. Processed with VSCO with c2 preset
Full disclosure: This entire thought process maybe one of those things that signifies me getting old, BUT I have a new theory. Those of you who have been through break ups will know, there’s a process to a break up that you have to go through. Whether you’re happy or devastated about the break up, the disappearance of an important person in your life is ever-present for the first few weeks, if not months. And now that I’m starting to date one person seriously, straight out of being single and without dating around first, I feel I’m starting to have to learn how to do break-ups in reverse. What’s the process for finding joy from a relationship again? For settling in to having a partner again? …

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What’s Weirder: Dating Someone You Know, Or Someone You Don’t?

I’ve been thinking about the question of how you meet people a lot lately. Half of the people I’ve dated I’ve known for awhile before we started dating, whether that be through work, or school, or hobbies. The other half are people I met off-chance and hit it off with. In both cases, it felt more like I knew that person in some capacity before we started dating, because we didn’t meet and the intention wasn’t immediately the possibility of a relationship of some sort (or was it?). Now that I’ve been frequenting the Tinder, I’m curious about how people date people. Just in GENERAL, but also specifically, why is it so, so weird to date someone you don’t really know? We’ve covered topics like: do I really want to be dating? And how am I going to know if I like them romantically?  But we’ve never covered the ‘how do you even get to know someone you don’t know when all of your meetings are in the date-structure?’. There’s a romantic interest. There’s an intention. How do you get to know someone as both a person, and a potential partner, when you start completely from scratch?

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