dating

A Guide To Starting to Date Again

AKA How To Do A Break Up In Reverse
Just as there is a process to going through a break up (successfully!), I’m starting to think there’s a process to getting used to dating again, and then getting used to being in a relationship. When you’re someone who has been single for a long time, who enjoys being single, there must be at least a thing you have to go through. I am pretty sure, about 75% sure, I’ve sorted it out by now. Processed with VSCO with c2 preset
Full disclosure: This entire thought process maybe one of those things that signifies me getting old, BUT I have a new theory. Those of you who have been through break ups will know, there’s a process to a break up that you have to go through. Whether you’re happy or devastated about the break up, the disappearance of an important person in your life is ever-present for the first few weeks, if not months. And now that I’m starting to date one person seriously, straight out of being single and without dating around first, I feel I’m starting to have to learn how to do break-ups in reverse. What’s the process for finding joy from a relationship again? For settling in to having a partner again? …

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The Ultimate Guide To A Successful Break-Up

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Dear god I hope the person I’m dating now doesn’t read this. For clarity: It has been two and a half years since I went through my last break up (my third). It was such a successful break up that I have not seriously considered dating anyone since. After my second break-up, age 19, I realised break-ups could be as positive as they are negative. It’s not a pleasant thing to go through, but it’s the sort of life-altering emotional trauma that you can really grow through without too much damage. Even when all feels lost and you’re filled with despair, even when it’s the opposite of how you thought your relationship (and maybe your life) was going to go, you can always find a silver lining in your break up. Here’s my guide on how:…

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What’s Weirder: Dating Someone You Know, Or Someone You Don’t?

I’ve been thinking about the question of how you meet people a lot lately. Half of the people I’ve dated I’ve known for awhile before we started dating, whether that be through work, or school, or hobbies. The other half are people I met off-chance and hit it off with. In both cases, it felt more like I knew that person in some capacity before we started dating, because we didn’t meet and the intention wasn’t immediately the possibility of a relationship of some sort (or was it?). Now that I’ve been frequenting the Tinder, I’m curious about how people date people. Just in GENERAL, but also specifically, why is it so, so weird to date someone you don’t really know? We’ve covered topics like: do I really want to be dating, and how am I going to know if I like them romantically, but we’ve never covered the ‘how do you even get to know someone you don’t know when all of your meetings are in the date-structure?’. There’s a romantic interest. There’s an intention. How do you get to know someone as both a person, and a potential partner, when you start completely from scratch?…

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When Did I Become Jane Bennet?

Processed with VSCO with m6 presetThere are worse people to be, I suppose. (Spoiler alert: she gets a happy ending). That being said, I think I and every other woman who has read Pride & Prejudice fancy themselves to be a strong-willed Elizabeth Bennet, a take no shit and fend for yourself and love will find it’s way type of girl. Recently, my cousin admitted to having a hard time showing affection for someone she was romantically interested in and I scoffed and called her a Jane Bennet (For context: Jane doesn’t show her affection well and so her love interest is persuaded to believe she’s not interested, loses hope on her and leaves). Three days later, I have realised, as it turns out, I am also a Jane Bennet.

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Why Do We Think So Much About People Who Don't Think About Us?

Alternate Title: Be Still My Foolish Heart? (Anything to drag Hozier into my chats) 
I’m not talking about unrequited love, I’m talking about how we create crushes on people we don’t *really* have an actual interest in. You might think you don’t do this, but I promise you know someone who does. People far and wide that I’ve talked to do this thing where we fixate on someone we know we can’t have. We harbour these little (or big) crushes on people who are long since gone, maybe they live in another city, maybe they’re in a relationship. Regardless, we’re only interested because they’re off limits. We’re not harassing them, or being a problem for their relationship, chances are they have absolutely no idea we harbour feelings for them at all, we do it for entirely selfish reasons. We do it, mostly, so that we can think romantic thoughts without having to deal with the actual anxieties and stressers of having feelings for someone.
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Am I Getting To Know Someone Or Am I Leading Them On?

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Picking up where we left off with “Am I Self-Sabotaging Romance?” I am now anxious about how one actually dates people without leading them on, or letting them down. (Simple answer is that these are natural side effects of dating, no?) All throughout our childhood and adolescence we spend time worrying about whether or not other people like us. Now, not only am I still convinced that everyone else thinks I am The Most Annoying Person Ever and hates having to socialise with me, but I’ve also developed anxiety about whether or not *I* like other people. Will it never end?!

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Life Chats | My Dating Dry-Spell

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It has been a full two years since I’ve had a boyfriend, been on a date, kissed a person, the whole nine yards of relationship. Two YEARS! And it’s just zoomed on by without me noticing. Dating is something that’s so common in everyone else’s lives, but I feel like it’s slipped out of mine and I didn’t bother to notice or care. For the past two years I have been so focused on school, friendships, and eventually moving out that dating just fell to the background and I didn’t look back at it until now….

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